I was chatting with a friend who had noticed the worn-out tires on my car, and he was giving me a few pointers on getting new ones.

He really knew a lot about the safety and performance advantages of different tires and where I could get them at the lowest possible prices.

He was genuinely enthusiastic and passionate about tires.

So as he was speaking I leaned back and offered him a compliment. I said to him, “You really are a natural at selling.”

Immediately he went all self-depreciating and said that although he had sold tires in the past it wasn’t his job now, and that he wasn’t really good at sales, and he was always afraid of coming across like a bad Amway rep.

So I said no more at that point.

Because he was right and I was wrong.

He was not a natural salesperson. Knowledge and passion are keys for selling, but he was missing a vital skill that was keeping him from success.

He hadn’t noticed in all the time talking to me about tires the single fact that… I wasn’t really interested!

His passion wasn’t my passion. My fascination was about how much he was fascinated with the topic rather than because I was worried about my car sliding on an snow covered road (we don’t get snow), or getting a 3% improvement in fuel economy with highway driving (when I drive mostly in the city.)

To really be able to sell he needed to be interested in finding out what interested me, what was important for me about car tires.

He needed to tune into the radio station, WII-FM… What’s In It For Me.

When he did try to sell, he came across as pushy, because he was telling, teaching and educating, but he wasn’t finding out what would draw someone to buy from their own motivation.

He was creating interest, without creating positive action.

Worst of all, by rejecting the idea of being a salesperson, he was not opening himself to learning this one remaining skill of understanding the other person.

His knowledge and passion were going to waste.

The next time he and I met I told him this.

I hope the valuable products / services / knowledge / skills you have to offer others aren’t being wasted by a lack of selling ability either.

Fortunately you don’t have to be a natural. Selling, like empathy, is a learnable skill.

If you’ve learned the phrase, “The customer is always right”, and perhaps even learned some of the variations on that, you can learn enough to sell well.

-Martin Russell

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